I didn't want to
by hoping for sin
Summary: [Yunis] OneShot. Tidus writes a letter to Yuna explaining that he never wanted to leave her.


Hi guys, I'm back with the companion piece to "Why?". This one is titled "I didn't want to" I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: See profile

"**I didn't want to"**

To my dearest Yuna,

Right now I'm sitting in the Farplane. You know, it's absolute heaven. Everything I've ever wanted. My mum is here, so is my old man and we've got to know each other again, as a family. I've also meet your dad, the almighty Lord Braska, he's the one who suggested that I write this letter, you know, he's a really great guy. Your old man understands the fact that I'm in a place where I can have almost anything I want, but the one thing I want, the one thing I need, I can't have, you know what that thing is?

You

He understands me when I shout constantly that I don't want to be here, I just want to be with you. My dad still thinks I'm a crybaby when every single night I cry myself to sleep, wishing you were in my arms.

Your father said he felt that way when he came here too, he said he also felt guilty about leaving you. But then he thought that he left you in a world with no Sin and he felt better. I try and think that to make me less unhappy, but it never works, I just want to be with you.

I know I didn't tell you want was going to happen to me, but I just wouldn't of been able to stand the look on your face if I told you.

So many emotions would be running through those gorgeous eyes of you:

Disappointment

Sadness

But the thing I hoped that I would see if I told you was:

Love

I know I was a coward for not telling you because I couldn't handle you being upset, but there are other reasons too. I was afraid if I told you that I was going to disappear after we killed Yu Yevon you wouldn't want to. But I know you deserve to live a normal life. Find someone you love, have the wedding I know you want so much, have kids, but you know, I wanted to be that guy you settled down with.

I know I don't deserve you, but I love you with all my heart, I wish I told you that everyday on the pilgrimage. Hell, I wanted to shout it from the airship. Screw what Wakka and Lulu thought…hang on, scratch that last sentence….Lulu would have probably murdered me in my sleep.

I just want to let you know that I think about that night in Macalaina Lake every night. Also, I'm sorry for causing you so much pain as I asked you to quit your pilgrimage, I know how much of an inner battle that caused within you.

I'm sorry that on the airship right before the _final _battle, that was the goodbye I gave you, you deserved more than that. But I didn't fully accept it until then, hell, I didn't want to accept it, _ever. _I wanted to stay with you, always. I meant what I said that night.

You know, before I found out what was to become of me and Rikku and I were trying to find someway of saving you, I thought about our life, our story, after Sin.

We would go steady for a little while. Then after I knew you'd got over the Seymour/wedding debacle, I'd propose.

We'd then have a big wedding with all our friends and people who helped us on the pilgrimage invited. The wedding and reception would be held in Macalaina. We would have the honeymoon in A big, fancy hotel in Bevelle, to replace all the horrid memories there with unforgettable ones.

About a month or two later, you'd fall pregnant and when you would of told me I would of picked you up, run out of our big house in Besaid and into the middle of the villiage. Then I would of twirled you round shouting for everyone to hear:

"We're going to be PARENTS!"

While you'd be giggling and telling me to be quiet.

The after nine months of me caring for you, you'd give birth to a little baby boy.

When he was old enough I would have taught him how to play blitz ball.

Then he'd become future captain of the Besaid Aurochs and he'd lead them to victory.

Then we would grow old together, and hadn't have a care in the world.

That was what I wanted to live like with you. You like it?

You know, I see Rikku, Wakka, Lulu, hell even Kimahri coming to the Farplane to see me. They ask me to come back, to make you smile a _real _smile that reaches your eyes, to make you sleep one peaceful night…they ask me to come back just to make you happy again. I want to see you happy again Yuna. I don't want you to be depressed. I want you to live a normal happy life. Make use of The Eternal Calm, Yuna, don't go whistling all the time and staying in bed half the day. You brought Spira this Calm, why don't you enjoy it too?

I better go, Auron's about to give one long deep, boring speeches, you should be feeling sorry for me.

But before I go I would just like to tell you that….

I never wanted to go

I didn't want to leave you

I never did…

You _need _to know that

Love,

Tidus

Please Review!


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